Getting Used To the Bump On My Head....

Hills, a yo-yo and me; what do we have in common? (yes, I'm fully aware of how lame and cheesy this riddle is....) Give up?  -Each endures endless up and down, continued back and forth ... 

but

I'm okay with it. I get it. It's just how I work. It's how new behaviors become habit or lifestyle.

In learning to buy less, becoming an organized housekeeper, eating healthy and developing a lifestyle of exercise, you've seen me fall off each of these wagons ... 

At last I see that, over time, the many times I start and stop, try, fail and try again ... are slowly yielding change. Over time, I'm buying less, eating better and making wiser financial choices. Not perfect, but better. 

So, this time the decision to develop a lifestyle of exercise (which is totally and completely foreign to me by the way...) is followed by an unsurprising parade of starts and stops. Rather than worry, I accept this as simply my way of working - my methodical madness that eventually achieves results.  ... unless, of course, I get wrapped up in the guilt of these hiccups.... 

So, here's to self-acceptance,

to progress, however stuttery, 

and to a lifestyle of exercise, healthy eating and all those other things

which are more of a journey

than a destination.

*cheers*

Our Willows... My Exercise Program

Each spring, I delve into a sporadic work-out I like to think of as ... well, I don't have a name for it.  

But it's basically me pushing, pulling and shoving many many many Willow sticks across an acre of yard to a central pile. 

The exercise program may or may not impact my long term cardiac health or overall endurance, but does yield short term yard improvement.  ... the brevity of such cleanliness literally fluctuates as the wind blows.

The impact of this workout also fluctuates according to how much of the yard I get to...

this photo represents about a third of the yard...

... here's another small bit ... 

This is the first time though, I smiled and thanked God for the yard work around here. It's partly the novelty of spring, yes ... but also gratitude for God having brought us back here. We moved back after a year away and love it. It's smaller, further from town, older and all that, but it's exactly where we belong. It's amazing that God knew all along that this is home for us, and that He'd lead us back here. 

He's so right. This is home!  

How to Make ... Uh ... a Basket? ... Or Not.

Romanced by the idea of creating something from the natural resources of my own country yard, I set out to discover how to make a willow basket. While the project looks much like the YouTube instructor says it should, I became concerned...

                                            

After cutting shoots and peeling bark (sounds easy), my fingers ached. I wondered if my hands would function enough to play piano or prepare supper later. And I just couldn't ignore the fact that a professionally woven basket is 50 cents at the local thrift store. 

Barely a quarter done, I had an epiphany: I can't do everything.  My son wandered up and giggled at my creation, awing at the monkey cage I'd made. 

You bet it is. Here you go son, here's your monkey cage. (or skunk cage...) Enjoy. 

Moral of this story: I can't do everything, and that's okay.

Someone Bring Me Some Bell-Bottoms!

Oh dear ... I may be morphing into some kind of hippie. Miss green-jeans.

Bring on the multi-grain, flax encrusted, organic ingredients, all natural groceries.

I don't buy into the whole 'save the earth 'cuz there's just not enough for everyone' thing. I'm not about 'save the earth', but I am about being real. So, not wanting to ingest (or feed my family) chemicals and fabricated engineered things that salespeople tell me is 'food', eating and shopping habits are changing around here.

I guess it's been building.

My dairy farming friend told me that cheese isn't even made from milk, but 'modified milk products'. What? She's right.

Then there's the whole 'margarine is made from plastic' thing. I don't entirely buy that, but we're on butter anyway. Cream, salt. That's the ingredient list. Okay. I know what those are.

Then my nieces and nephew came over. Those healthy-eating young'ens inspired me to make a bunch of changes:

• We're off white bread. - Just Whole Wheat and Light Rye now. 
• We have veggies at most meals. (I routinely forget vegetables are a food group, so that's a biggie) 
• I offer healthier snack options - sometimes no snack. We've been a dough eating family. Cinnamon buns, cookies, cakes ... mmm! Snacks these days are  more fruits, veggies, crackers and cheese, or yogurt. ... or granola bars, but I'm the only one who eats those. 

And while shopping tonight, I was reading labels, trying to avoid glucose-fructose, mechanically separated meats or ingredients I don't recognize. I must have looked like a first-time shopper. ... I guess I kind of was!

I came home with a few new items - Organic salsa, Stoned Wheat Thins, whole grain Tortilla chips, tangerines and other fruits, veggies, Organic 'shreddies', frozen blueberries and brown bread. (... should I be barefoot, prancing in a field of flowers?)

These healthy items are more expensive than their processed NoName counterparts, but I was pleasantly surprised that my grocery bill was lower than I expected. 

My favorite part is that my family is eating it! This may actually work! 

Now all I need is to paint some groovy flowers on my car - and someone bring me some bell-bottoms!

A Check Up...

My decades of bad habits may have caught up with me ... tossing bowls of food from the fridge to make room for new leftovers ... throwing out items that could be reused, ... dumping (gulp, dare I say it?) ... uh ... coffee. Yeah. Half pots, even a full pot one time... I know. Terrible.  Or my habit of buying impulse items just because - or things on sale because .. THEY'RE ON SALE!!  ... lots of bad habits.

BUT -

I figure I'm still ahead. Yes I do. I mean, a year ago when I started the 'Eat From The Pantry Challenge', and cut my grocery budget in half, I didn't know anything. At all. Really.

I've picked up some good habits in the last year though. They need alot of tweaking (ahem... self discipline..), but I'm learning.

This last year I've learned a bit about....

• Avoiding emotional shopping (I buy movies and chocolate when I'm sad.  ... I've purchased fewer movies.)  ... leave my chocolate alone! I'm only human you know! 
• Using what I have on hand  - you know ... before it goes bad and gets freezer burn and then has to be thrown out because I can no longer identify what that nasty thing once was? Yeah.
• Meal planning - YAY! That's one I've continued to do! It saves money (if I stick to it), time and stress. Hooray!! Big check mark for me. Hmm. I think that deserves a chocolate.
• Buying on Sale - Yay for a good habit!  I regularly check prices on stuff I'd always have on hand - shaving gel, deodorant, shampoo, ketchup, ... whatever. As much as I can, I wait until they're on sale, then buy as many as I can. I've noticed a few things that are one sale seasonally - Jam in fall, Feminine hygiene in January, I think flour was on sale this spring and summer too. I missed that one... doh! Also, 50% off stuff can sometimes be scheduled... 
• Cash Envelopes - The whole reason I do envelopes is to attempt some form of spending discipline. But wouldn't you know it, it takes a degree of discipline to even put the money IN the envelopes, and then take them with me when I go out?  Yeah ... still need to work with that. But when I use it, it works well. 

There. I feel so much better about myself. I'm doing some stuff right. Oh good. Now I can move forward into a new year of starting over. (Yes, I just said 'New Year') I can already see the new beginnings of January will look much like they did last time around. BUT - I'm really ahead of the game. 

Play ball. 

The Money Problem

Hi. How are you?  ... been a while :)

Ever have the problem of too much money?  ... yeah, me either. But I have had the 'problem' of enough money. In recent years we've reached a financially comfortable place - not debt free or anything, and not without issues (you've read my blog before, right?) ... but comfortable. We've enjoyed luxuries like name brand cereal - multiple boxes of cereal in the cupboards, insurance, dental work, camping, a good credit rating... I mean, it's been GREAT!

The 'problem' with having enough and being comfortable, is that it breeds pride and chokes out compassion.

A recent financial speed bump has served to remind me of the tension that is associated with lack of money. I forgot how often I used to check the gas gauge, how frequent my headaches were ...  Wow. Hadn't felt that in a while...

It's good I get to feel it again, however uncomfortable. When I'm under pressure, the real 'me' surfaces.

In this temporary financial squeeze, I can see my pride. I think, in forgetting what it was like to be broke, I have judged those who are. I'm sorry. I hate admitting that. I WAS broke. What makes me so much better than anyone else?! Nothing. Nothing at all.

There's alot of scripture this reminds me of..

“But that is the time to be careful! Beware that in your plenty 

you do not forget the Lord your God and disobey his commands, 

regulations, and decrees that I am giving you today. 

Deuteronomy 8:11

“After the Lord your God has done this for you, don’t say in your hearts, ‘The Lord has given us this land because we are such good people!’ No, it is because of the wickedness of the other nations that he is pushing them out of your way.  It is not because you are so good or have such integrity that you are about to occupy their land. The Lord your God will drive these nations out ahead of you only because of their wickedness, and to fulfill the oath he swore to your ancestors Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. You must recognize that the Lord your God is not giving you this good land because you are good, for you are not—you are a stubborn people 

Deuteronomy 9:4-6

“So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, 

and he will give you everything you need. 

Matthew 6:31-33

While I read these passages I came across Moses' reminder to the Isrealites that, if they ignore God, become proud, and worship idols, God will cut off the rain and they will die in that plentiful land He gave them.

Whoa.

What a powerful reminder of who's in charge! I can't control anything, despite what my culture tells me. I am not master of my own destiny - I can't even survive without God's permission! HE'S the one in charge of rain and sun...

That brings me some discomfort. Am I doing what He asks? Am I seeking the Kingdom of God above all else? Living righteously? I pray that I am, though it's hard to understand living righteously when I sin everyday..

Knowing God is in control of my very existence is also comforting. He loves me more than I'll ever know. He's kind and good and takes care of me. Even in times of financial pressure, He's here teaching me, guiding me, and working all things together for the good of those who love him. Aaaah.

Glory to God, whatever happens.

.

Am I There Yet??

Meal plans, cleaning schedules and budgets are great tools ... when I remember that they're tools. Sometimes I forget that and they become my master who, if I forget a task, will plague my thoughts with  lists and sear my emotions with guilt.

I'm learning ... however slowly ... that to 'arrive' really doesn't happen in this life. We strive for it, and our culture even tells us that we CAN 'arrive' - a certain career, a certain income level, a certain amount of  money in savings, and you're 'there'. You've done it - now kick back and relax.

Reminds me of Luke 12: 19,20:  

"And I’ll sit back and say to myself, 

“My friend, you have enough stored away for years to come. Now take it easy! Eat, drink, and be merry!”’  “But God said to him, ‘You fool! You will die this very night. Then who will get everything you worked for?’" 

I make plans, but am starting to view them more as guidelines - rough outlines. I go after them seriously, but with an ear toward heaven - just in case God's plans are different. (which they often are...)

I  may not get to all these cleaning zones, and I'll fall of the cash envelope wagon ... I'll even miss posting on this blog from time to time ... but these times don't define me. I'm learning to be a steward - learning self discipline - learning.

I remember Dr. Phil saying years ago that, when a baby is learning to walk and falls, the parents don't say 'get up, you stupid baby!" and kick it ... they accept that he is learning. This will mean making mistakes and not getting it. I'm learning not to kick myself but instead to just accept it and try again. 

... Okay, Kim. It's okay. Try again.

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